Jan.21/93

Dear Journel,

I'm sorry that I haven't typed anything in this thing for awhile but the day's have gone by very quickly. I have been so much about the past I have lost track of the present, of which I am very confused completely. There are times when the past is so vivid and real but there are times when I just don't remember. How do I start the healing process when I can't sort the facts from the fiction or exadurations of the facts to fit the pain, or phantom pain, I feel. I don't want to loose tract of the present. Only by sorting these feelings out can I continue the what I worked at for the past 4 years. They say that time heals all wounds, and I hope that there is still time for the healing. The reality of the stiuation slamms in my face every time I try to talk to others about it, they freeze and brush it off. I end up feeling confused and alone with no where to turn. In fact this whole period of my life will be alone, that is when I get frustrated and angey at others since they have promised to be there for me.

The other pressures of work and home are always there, so I constanly pray for help to cope and endure. Jah. is the one person I can alaways go to and that thought is a constant comfort to me because when I pray I'm not alone.Good night Journel.


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