Jan.15/93

Dear Journel,

This day is no different then any other day, I worry about my job. I am always in fear of going into work and getting fired. The things I have done or said to Bill or things I have forgotten to do or say, constantly going over the days events, again and again and again till I go back to work only to make the same mistakes all over again. The weekends are the worst, this is because oftwo day period of waiting and thinging and wondering what awaited me on Monday morning, and the worring continues till then. People don't understand this, for last of a better word, obsetion. Also, Monday holds onther problems for me. I go to see the doctor. You see on Wedensday, when talking to Betty we got on the topic on shrinks, which I then confided to her that I was thinking about asking the doctor if she could recomend on that didn't cost much. I am very scared but Betty thinks it would be a good idea. Now, on Monday, I will be asking about it, I'm scared. So with double worries no one to talk to, or who wants to listen to me about it. People thinks it's easy to keep this job, but when you are under the type of pressure I'm under but when you have a boss always lookin over your shoulders and you know that are looking for you to make a mistakes on a machine that doesn't want to work , it's easy to make the mistakes the boss is looking for to fire me. I feel better now so I will go now but I will be back tomarrow. Good Night.


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